Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize