The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
