It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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