HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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