ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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