I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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