You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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