We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
