i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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