drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so let's talk penis.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
