you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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