instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
