How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
