it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
