Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
