Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
