morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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