adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
