ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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