i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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