would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
