The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
