ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
