ADVERTISEMENT

• (209): View more from California

  just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

  Fav 6 2925 1086

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I think you broke the trashy scale

  Fav 53 4519 2581

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.

  Fav 15 1420 5473

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

  Fav 20 5581 1460

  share tweet
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?

  Fav 6 1094 3094

  share tweet
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.

  Fav 22 842 3163

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.

  Fav 15 901 3901

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

  Fav 11 877 1676

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.

  Fav 4 830 1381

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.

  Fav 3 1168 479

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.

  Fav 0 540 779

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up

  Fav 1 660 436

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well

  Fav 3 778 396

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants

  Fav 2 126 164

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.

  Fav 0 37 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize