wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
