Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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