I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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