he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
