Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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