You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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