lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
