look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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