we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
