Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
