Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize