After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
