he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
