Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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