you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize