her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
