Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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