He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
