dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
