I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
