this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
