if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
