Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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