The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize