she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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