Its about making memories worth repressing
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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