you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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