Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
