Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
