i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
