he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
