i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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