So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize