so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
